It's been years since I looked at my Deep Thoughts book. I just thought this so perfectly summed up my feelings on metaphorical lemons:
If life gives you lemons, why not kill someone with them (perhaps by shoving them down his throat)?


ETA: Bonus!
Many people don't realize that playing dead can help not only with bears, but also at important business meetings.

Remember that, friends. Keep it in mind.
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