BE Blowout!! Saturday

I am posting this as I go, in the hope that some of you will prod me with (virtual!) sharp sticks to finish the story, and to prevent me from editing the story out of existence. Or editing occasionally and procrastinating the actual posting until the files are lost to the ether.

I got in late on Friday and whatever I did experience I was too tired to remember, so I'll start with Saturday.

I got to sleep in a bit on Saturday. I spent some time flipping through the Saturday morning cartoons, cable tv being the special treat that it is for a backwoods girl like me. Finally I got ready and headed down in time to wait in line with aelora and icalynn several times before waiting in line for autographs. Also, I seem to remember something about waiting in line. Voluntarily. I must really love my friends.

Really, I was excited about meeting Michael Rosenbaum, but mostly because I have been so very much in love with his character for so very long. I'm not much for celebrity worship/gossip/crushes/etc. When I worked on set, as much as I might be blown away by certain performances, I was never starstruck. The actors were simply attractive, extraordinarily talented people, much like the attractive, extraordinarily talented friends I have now. You know who you are. Admit it. You can do so quietly. :)

Anyway, I figured I may as well get autographs, since they were included with my pass. I did still have to buy pictures for them to sign, but when Jason Dohring appeared from behind me, put his hand on my leg, and started snarking about the hotness that was Francis’ picture, it was all so very worth it. Ok, so I had a starstruck moment. In all fairness, he is way cuter than a boy has any right to be. Moving on. I got Jason’s autograph first, after witnessing what an unbelievable sweety-pie he was while signing for my friends. I complimented him on being so nice, and he signed “I am Not a nice guy. But I love you anyway.” I skipped Michael Muhney’s autograph, because looking at the Sherriff Lamb photo just irritated me, and also I’m a bad person. I went straight to being hit on by Francis (omg so pervy! omg so cute!), and got his classic illegible autograph. Then I went back to Jason, reminded him how much he enjoyed that pic of Francis, and he practically tore it out of my hand (“Oh yeah. Give me that. Give it to me”) and signed “This photo is Sex. Love, the better actor”. At which point I was desperately in love. Or at least, desperately amused.

All the VM boys did a Q&A during which most of the questions seemed to come from inside their heads. That's alright though, I don't know that the dozen or so people in the audience could have kept it going for very long if they'd done it by the book. I was impressed with how charming and funny the actors were, although Jason didn't seem to have much to say. He was so personable and talkative one-on-one, but the larger the audience, the quieter he got. I asked him about that later, at the reception. He assured me that he wasn't nervous, but implied that he didn't want to say anything stupid, which I thought was extremely endearing. After witnessing how far out of his way he would go for a fan (see aelora's LJ), I told him he was my Favorite, and I hope he heard the 13 exclamation points I tacked onto the end. I left him alone most of that night, since he already had a gaggle of girls around him, and I wanted him to relax and be his charming, clever self.

Francis hadn't made an appearance yet, so I joined aelora and icalynn. My shoes and my feet were starting to bicker, and I had to follow through on my threat to separate them. I wound up in the gaggle of girls surrounding Michael Muhney (henceforth known as "Muhney"), kneeling barefoot on a chair, very unladylike. As usual, I was far more conspicuous than I would like to imagine. However, the Universe absolutely adores me, and I managed to be noticed in a positive way. Through no fault of my own, I promise.

To be continued...

Randomness and Karaoke, aka BE Blowout!! cont'd

You can stop bating your breath now. I've come through for you, without you even resorting to sticks.

Muhney said that I reminded him of Reese Witherspoon, whom he fell madly in love with in a dream. I wish you could have heard him describe that dream. They are so Ment2B. Anyway, I became the recipient of a crush-by-proxy. Like a starving child handed leftovers from Le Petit Fleur. I decided long ago (never to walk in anyone’s shadow… Ahem. Sorry.) that I would never settle, but exceptions must be made. For example, as a matter of policy I do not use my brakes on the freeway. The guy in that minivan today had better be grateful for my flexibility. Um. Please keep that in context. Thanks. As I was saying, I was more than pleased to get any kind of positive notice from such a brilliant, beautiful man. In fact, after that I’m sure I bore more resemblance to a lost puppy than to Reese. To be fair (to me, that is), I knew I would probably never have the chance to interact with him again. I did feel a little silly following him around for the next 24 hours, but hey, a little silly never hurt anyone.

After the reception, Muhney shared a couple demo reels with us. He was an utter joy to watch, and not just on screen. He was so excited to have a crowd gathering, begging to see his work. Looking up at the Best Of Muhney, his eyes lit up like Christmas, and it was one of those moments I wanted to capture and keep forever. Like playing in my business suit in the rain... lol, be right back!

Wow. That almost deserves a whole separate post. Florida is crazy, the cold rain falls onto the hot pavement, leaving puddles like hot springs. There are wide clear blue patches in the dimmed sky, and the far off lightning glows multicolored through the rainclouds like a preview of sunset. I could hardly catch my breath, running through the grass and concrete, giggling madly, it's all just so perfect. I truly wish I had some talent at art or photography so I could share this with you. Of course, now that I'm soaked, my air-conditioned house is giving the Arctic a run for its money. Not that I picture the Arctic having a lot of money... Sorry. Where was I?

Right. After the screening, it was Karaoke time! I don't know if you noticed this (lol), but I love to sing. Singing in front of people is a whole other story, but most of the audience fell into one of my two acceptable categories:
a) I'm never going to see these people again, so who cares?
OR b) My friends love me anyway.
Then there was c) Michael Muhney, one of the Top 5 Most Amazing People I Have Ever Met.
Who, by the by, I had specifically asked to watch my performance. Bacause I, if you failed to notice, am other than sane.

I was so nervous and tight when I started singing that when I tried to take a deep breath, my inner puppy took over and I panted. I may be exaggerating here, but I'm pretty sure I may not. By the end of the performance, I sounded good, but I still felt like I was just waiting for the music to end. With the patience one might expect if I were waiting for a boa constrictor to release its grip. I really wanted to go again (don't ask), but couldn't find an upbeat song I was confident enough about. Hanging out by the songbook paid off though, as it gave me the opportunity to influence Muhney's decision to perform The Humpty Dance. Can I get a Hell Yeah?

Luncheon/Auction/BE Blowout!! just keeps going

Oh, before I forget. I kept meaning to ask Muhney if he was flirting with me for the obvious reason (I am a sexy thang, you know), or if it was part of that competitive thing the guys had going. Like he had to establish that he loved me more than Jason did (see aelora's LJ). Hey, aelora, check my subtle journal pimping.
ETA: Oops.

I got to bed crazy late, and woke up grateful that I don't drink. I bummed around with aelora and icalynn until they resumed their nasty habit of waiting in line, then I wandered off to work out. Did I mention I forgot to pack my sneakers? Socks, socks, and not a... nevermind. I considered it an homage to MR's performance on "MTV Cribs". Yeah, that got old quick. I rejoined the girls, claiming that I had been depriving them of entertainment for too long, and proceeded to dance on command until I was stripped of my fandom privileges for failing to notice MR passing 2 feet behind me. Behind, mind you. I totally saw him, just not right away. It's not my fault there was no chemistry and he didn't smell wonderful or do anything to get my attention. Alright, shutting up now. I hung out watching Vanity Fair on my iPod until it was time for the luncheon. I'm skipping a little here, but I already pimped the relevant journal, go squee over there. This is my story.

I was less than thrilled with the $200 lunch during which the greatest source of entertainment was a bee. At least the bee seemed happy to be there. I'm not trashing MR here, it was just bad timing. He was tired, he hadn't really met anyone at the con yet, and he didn't have much to say. He made an effort at one point, asking our names and where we were from. He did a couple impressions toward the end, but he was the first to leave. I think once he got warmed up he couldn't sit still. As demonstrated during the auction. He was doing his best bee impression then (unintentionally), and it was pretty good. See, I'm easy to please. I do think he's adorable, and hilarious, and intensely likeable. I also think I couldn't handle being around him all that often, and I am officially a Lex fan. Not an MR fan. Just as I am now a Muhney fan, but don't see myself ever being a Sheriff Lamb fan.

Backing up. Give me a little credit, this is far below my usual standards for randomness. I hung around Muhney's table for a bit, then Jason's, then Francis', doing the mingle thing. Then Ae and I made a feeble attempt to catch Muhney for an interview, and found ourselves at the auction. Here I am out of words.

Ok, I'll try. It was hysterical. It was crazy. I did the mental math on my credit so I knew how much I could throw in for Aelora if needed, tried to convince her that she had nothing to lose (just in case she lost), and held my breath. Right up until MR offered to throw in his boxers, emphasizing that he would have to mail them because he was, of course, not wearing any. Yes, there is a remote chance that my diminishing love for him is a defense mechanism to help me deal with the fact that I could totally have bought him but I love my friends more. Sigh. Ubercutie. When aelora won, I was so happy for her I wasn't even capable of jealousy. I know, I didn't know I was that cool either but there it is. Seriously, I barely finished hugging her in time for MR to swoop in and claim her. She was the center of his attention for the rest of the night. I don't know if she fully let herself enjoy that, but I'm sure she couldn't help but die a little with joy. Eee! Did I mention, so happy for her?

Mooning over Muhney

If I'm the first to make that pun, I deserve mad props. Also, a spanking for using the phrase "mad props" in public.

I left you at the auction. I would love to share the antics and frenzy and hilarity of the rest of that, but I sincerely don't think I can put it in writing. There must be laws. Really, just look at the pictures. I know someone took some. If that's not good enough for you, Be There next time. :P

aelora finally snagged Muhney for an interview, and she was gracious enough to bring me along. Ironically, I tagged along with Aelora to observe her interviewing techniques, and she never got a question in. Muhney was amazing, insightful and wise. I tend to associate “wise” with “old”, but let’s practice dissociating, shall we?

I'm not going to share content here, as I trust Aelora's writing ability, and her discretion. I'll just share how his words affected me. You may be vaguely aware, I enjoy words, and have some idea what to do with them. Let me add to that, I work in sales, and have apprenticed with some absolute masters of the craft. None of which prepared me. I occasionally had to bring my conscious awareness to my jaw to keep it closed. This wouldn't be the first time you've seen hyperbole from me, but I shit you not. The man is a wonder.

Aelora suggested that Muhney could be a self-help guru, which I don’t doubt. He could be anything he wanted (with the possible exception of a schoolgirl… ok, I’ll stop with the song references.) He gracefully, effortlessly, helped us to see ourselves. For example, the analogy that he drew to help Aelora accept the compliments she is constantly receiving (and deservedly so, btw)… What he said about confidence that almost made me cry, it felt so relevant. I wanted to take him home with me and unleash him on my friends. Ok, “unleash” has introduced an inappropriate visual. I mean, offer to my friends? Ok, still dirtywrong. Someone help me out here. Please.

What’s wronger than dirty wrong? Ok, maybe I have a bad sense of wrong, but I was slightly bothered by the fact that he seemed to think I meant to keep him as a pet. I mean, I did ask, “Can I keep you?“ but that’s sort of a catchphrase of mine when someone completely wins me over. Everyone who has answered Yes to that question is still a good friend of mine. I like it better than “What do I need to do to ensure that you will be a part of my life for a very long time?” That just doesn’t have the same ring to it, you know?

I'm skipping again here, to stay on track. You'll understand someday. For those of you who are waiting for me to go off on what a supersexy stud Muhney is, and why I am his perfect mate, you are in the wrong journal. Though I'm sure I agree. Now back to gushing.

During the second part of the interview, when Muhney was sharing about his childhood, and how he discovered his “pure love” of acting… I cried. I only got misty-eyed on the outside, but I died a little inside, and that is not something I just say. Oh my… Oh. So beautiful.

So much of what Muhney said struck a chord with me. I seriously went to my boss and told him I need to take half of September off so I can audition for American Idol. Laugh at will, I am not fucking kidding. I had an audition for a promotion within my company the day I got back to Orlando, and I aced it. I mean, I killed. Partly because I no longer entirely care whether I get that position, partly because of Muhney’s speech about confidence, but I went in there knowing that I was the best woman for the job. I had the best presentation, with a tiny fraction of the prep time my colleagues had. I had the most passion, the clearest mindset, and my personality absolutely shone. I am not bragging. I am expressing gratitude. That was me at my best, and I expect to see a lot more of that girl, and I believe I owe Muhney forever and all eternity for bringing her to my attention.

I am a strong believer in role models and mentors, and if I don't have the honor of having Muhney in my life as a mentor, I will at least keep him as a role model.

BE Blowout!! The Ultimate Recap

Ultimate as in final, hopefully. The sun is setting, I'm getting a PC tan, and I've got to get outside soon.

After the first part of the interview, we arrived late to the Q&A, having missed about 20 minutes of Rosenbaum-y goodness. Such is life. I'm just glad we gave Muhney a head start, so no one could (rightfully) pin his lateness on us. The remainder of the Q&A was unfathomably entertaining, as might be expected given the guests, and the general atmosphere after that auction. I was laughing so hard at one point, I fell out of my chair. Which I really shouldn't admit to, but it was designed to be a testament to just how amusing our guest speakers were, and not an embarrassing confession. Take it as you will.

Immediately after that came the Sunday reception, which was originally meant to be another cocktail party, before MR's scheduling constraints came into play. Supposedly that made it inappropriate for me to wear my cocktail dress. Whatever. It's a windowless room. It could be evening, you don't know. Besides, I had a borrowed dress I might never get the chance to wear again. I mean, really, how often do I get to put on leopard print? Those of you who think I'm kidding, it's nice to meet you. Stalk at will.

I gave MR a much-needed massage, which I really was not qualified for, so I turned the task over to the professional, icalynn. Yes, I am incredibly generous, but I kinda wasn't feeling it anyway. Except in my hands, of course. Great body. No spark. Anyway, I continued to be wildly amused by MR, gave him a hard time about his questionable (unsanitary!) habits, and fed him grapes. Ok, so I threw one toward his open mouth and missed, but it was a nice moment nonetheless. Then I caught up with aelora, who was completing the interview with Muhney. Re-skipping to compensate for previous skipping (skipping, skipping, la la la).

While Aelora went off on her date and Icalynn went to the Roswell screening, I went up to the room and turned up the music. I had just finished singing and dancing and tearing the hell out of my pantyhose when the crew came back, so of course the rest of the night was a Squee-fest over Ae's date. The girls ran into Francis just outside the room while I was having one of my customary wardrobe malfunctions (nylon, like most artificial, appearance-oriented, heartless things, hates me). Turns out Francis was staying a couple doors down. Before I joined them, he had bitten aelora's hand to punish her for choosing MR over him, and proposed a threesome. He apparently tried to include me in his calculations once he saw me, but I think math was beyond him at this point. I know I'm leaving out so many choice moments like this, but ultimately, you just had to be there.

I waited in the lobby with Ica and Ae for the last of their pics to be printed. We were all crashing pretty hard, so I brought out my iPod and speakers to try and keep our energy up. [ETA: The music we were listening to was Weird Al, because that seemed to be the only thing that could keep Aelora's eyes open at one point. So of course, the song playing when Muhney walks up is "Wanna Be Ur Lover". I make no apologies.] The actors stopped to say Goodbye on their way out, which was exceptionally sweet. Just as Ica got her last pic, Muhney came out, so while the other girls went to bed I stayed to beg for an autograph. So not me, but oh well. So worth it. I told him that I'd skipped him originally because I didn't care at the time. He seemed surprised by my honesty, aka bluntness. You can tell the boy doesn't know me. *g* He signed it to "Reese Laura, I Loved You before You Loved Me". A little cocky of him, since I never said I loved him, but *Squee!*. Ok, so I'm in love. He loved me first!
[The End]

[postscript]
Muhney mentioned being a Mensa member. I wonder if I could qualify. Read it again, this time don’t laugh. Thank you. My last IQ test would’ve gotten me in, but of course I was 6 at the time. Eventually I got smart enough to realize that being smart gets you nowhere. Slowly and painfully. AKA, nerds gets their butts kicked, ditzy chicks gets their butts kissed. Pride is for sissies anyway. Of course, now I want the Mensa card to tuck into my bra under my “This is what a Hottie Looks Like” shirt, but I’m afraid that years of practice at being a ditz may have cost me a few IQ points.
...

Bubbles on Tour

Hey, my Minneapolis peeps! Ok, as of now I don't know that I have any, but if you can make it to MN, I will be there from September 6th-12th. We can cruise the Mall of America, go to whatever that theme park is there, watch Poltergeist at 3am, whatevs. If you can make it, lunch is on me. As literally as you like. [All of a sudden I'm supposed to be above bribery? Come on now, you know me better than that.]

There is also a very good chance that I will be in Seattle from September 17th-23rd. For all of you who are heartbroken at having missed me in Burbank, this is your golden opportunity.

Of course, you can stay with me in Orlando anytime, let me give you the supersekrit Disney tour, etc. I'm always down for that.

p.s. I don't know that I can express in words how much I would appreciate your company on the aforementioned trips. Love you forever, BFF, etc, ad infinitum.